indifference
Indifference is the beginning of all control and autonomy in life. We’re making decisions from the very get-go, but to be capable of making decisions separate from the influence of the world; that is true power.
- Our motivation and origin gives us a reason.
- Our perspective and beliefs help us get there.
- Our indifference to the world around us makes us more resilient and more capable of constant refinement and improvement, and better decision making.
The principles of success have a beautiful way of dovetailing with one another. Indifference is no exception to that.
The Source Of Indifference
Indifference has its roots in stoicism, and put simply, is the idea of taming one’s emotions. Indifference, in practical terms, is the ability to have things happen, to experience things, and to be able to decide how to react without being overwhelmed by emotional impulses to act and react without thought and consideration. It’s also the selfish desire to cultivate our surroundings and the experiences we expose ourselves to, avoiding voluntary situations and experiences that don’t help us or create more work than necessary. Selfishness has far too long had a negative blanket reputation; it is not all bad, as there is no other way to stall the progress of humanity than to try to pour water from an empty jug.
Epictetus, one of The Stoics, the group of greek philosophers who founded and added unto the ideals of stoicism once said that “some things are up to us and some are not up to us”. To the casual observer it might appear that this is to say we can’t control everything, but in reality, what it actually says is that everything that can be controlled can be and should be. Its our feelings, opinions, and desires that can be controlled.
He also said “we suffer not from the events in our life, but from our judgments about them”.
Feigning the Temptation to React
Indifference is the overcoming of the challenge that we face to respond and react quickly, as human beings that are programmed to make decisions emotionally, as we live in a world that is trying at every corner to appeal to those emotions in an attempt to control us and get us to move in the direction others would have us go.
- Look at the whole marketing world; the very core of marketing is built on the manipulation of our emotions for profit and gain. It is not an inherently unethical business, but can become one in the wrong hands.
- Look at the news and media, the highlights on all of the problems and situations going on in the world, and the emotional appeals we feel in the face of indifference from others toward things that we feel passionately about.
- Look at others, and what they say to us, from their experience, knowledge, and perspective. Sometimes it’s for our own benefit, other times it is disguised in order to benefit them.
- Look at things that happen to us, and how we interpret them based on our beliefs. Sometimes it’s a healthy perspective, and other times, a seemingly harmless occurrence to one person is a disaster from our perspective.
Being indifferent to the world around us, really, is quite easy in theory. We’re choosy about the surroundings and situations we expose ourselves to, knowing that we can’t fix everything and everyone, and we avoid making decisions, primarily decisions on how to react to what happens to us, based solely on emotions, giving ourselves a chance to get ahead in life. Our emotions, which come from our perspectives and beliefs and experiences, are very useful in making decisions, but only to the degree that the perspectives and beliefs and the accompanying emotional responses lead us toward reactions that help us.
Putting Indifference in Perspective
If you’ve read the principles thus far in a linear manner, you’ve seen that we all have an origin and motivation, something that has inspired us toward growth and expansion. We all have perspectives, and beliefs that make up those perspectives, which solicit emotional reactions to what we see. Some of those beliefs help us, while many, especially for those of us just starting out with this method, hinder us.
Indifference, then, is the key to curating our experience, moderating our beliefs, and taking time when necessary to feign off impulses to act in ways that might not serve us well, and to consider what has happened, what we believe about what has happened, and how might be best to react. The natural urge to react, and breaking that urge with a “let’s pause and think about this first” moment is key. That pause is best predicated by the following realization:
Nothing that is or that happens is inherently good or bad. It takes on meaning when put it into context and assign meaning to it.
Think about it. It’s the perspective of the person experiencing it that decides if it’s good or bad, and how good or bad it is. Our experiences as human beings are subjective. There is very little that is either good or bad in the world, some may argue there is truly in the grand scheme of things no “good” and “bad”, merely better or worse, and that good and bad is something that we assign to happenings based on our perception of it. Therefore, to be indifferent to all that happens to us, especially those things that get the biggest emotional rise out of us, is what helps us slowly reorganize and shift our beliefs and our perspectives toward a newer, better, more effective tool for personal growth.
Practicing Indifference
Indifference is 5% understanding it, as it’s a rather simple concept and, 95% implementing it, as it involves gaining mastery over our innate desire to protect ourselves. We no longer live in a caveman society, there’s not danger potentially lurking around every corner. We have time, and we should take the time to consider things once in a while.
Indifference is a very simple concept to grasp. In practice, it’s a challenge to implement. In the beginning, it’s a conscious decision to step back and resist the desire to react. That can be very tough. Constant pep talks about not overreacting, it’s not really that bad, etc. Over time, it gets easier though, because indifference becomes less of a deliberate mental intervention in our everyday lives, and more of a unique perspective we adopt, on the value and conditions of our life, and on cause, effect, and our own personal resilience and strength. To become inherently indifferent is to understand and believe a lot of unique ideas that are often very opposite to what we currently believe.
- The world does not revolve around you.
- Nothing matters very much.
- There’s nothing that I truly have to do right now.
- Not everything that happens to you should be taken personally, as an attack or an affront.
- Nothing is rarely ever as bad as it seems.
- Everything always works out in the end.
- What you experience is mostly your own doing, whether you make it happen, or allow it to happen.
- You’ve survived 100% of your worst days, and you’ll find a way to make it through this too.
Indifference, to some, may seem like you don’t care about what happens. It may sound selfish. It may sound like nihilism. It may come across as “nothing matters, everything is meaningless”, but that’s not the case. People who act this way and carry themselves throughout life with indifference do so because they DO care, and frankly, they care so much that they are willing to take the time to give themselves the best chance and outcome from any situation. Indifference is simply a commitment to make the best of the attention and energy we have, make the best of our situations, to tame our rampant desire to react, and to always consider the appropriateness of the beliefs that are driving these emotional responses leading us toward action.